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"That'sstraight out of Agatha Christie." Even earlier, I'd say - Victorian." She sighed. "I did manage to get aconcession out of her. She will take a complete outfit of men's clothes,and will wear them at least once for me. She wouldn't hear of it at first.She said she'd feel a fool dressing up as a man and didn't have any men'sclothes anyway. I said that wouldn't be a problem. We have plenty in ourwardrobe room. In the end, I told her it was a deal-breaker, and she gavein." Well, I think it's wonderful. I hope the two of you have a great time,and find each other again." Don't get your hopes up, Steven. We'll never be husband and wife again." But maybe 'wife and wife'?" She grimaced. "Anyway you'll be together,and not lonely anymore. That's the main thing."She smiled. It was an odd, unfamiliar sight. Then I realised why itlooked weird. It was a smile that actually reflected some genuine innersatisfaction, even happiness. The most I could remember ever seeing fromher. I was seen as just another womangoing about her business, and it was marvelous. That's one reason I'vepicked the wardrobe I have, so I dont get people staring at me.This isnt about making people feel sorry for me.Anyone who knows my story knows I've had a few bad things happen to me.But I know others with lives that make mine look like a walk through thepark. I've been pitied, while it can feel good to have someone empathizewith me, a person gets tired of being the object of pity pretty fast.I've thought more than once that I know people are judged by how theytreat "the least of these", but I would be just as happy if "the least ofthese" was somebody other than me. Frankly, I would like to be worth morethan just pity.This isnt about my rape, or "hating" being a guy.Look, my memory of those years is beyond hazy, but some things I canrecall, especially now that I've started working on recovering from myassault. And my best recollection indicates that I blamed my wanting to befemale.
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